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1 month 5 days ago #9583 by mbr
mbr replied the topic: Today
Good morning! Time for my clinic follow up. Usually gets scolded if my blood tests are not that great. Got used to it. Professionals take lousy care of themselves. :p

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4 weeks 1 day ago #9586 by Arrocee
Arrocee replied the topic: Today
@mbr: why is it that the people who should know best neglect themselves the most? :P

I'm a bit tired - have trouble getting consistent sleep at night and it's really putting a crimp in me getting to school on time and having a good morning routine. That aside, I've been wanting to limit my distractions from school but keep feeling like I'm pulled away by social matters. I set a hard limit of 3 social commitments this week but even still I feel scattered. Today I met with one of my closer friends who I have a somewhat complicated relationship with. I am flattered that he professes to enjoy spending time with me (out of a select few in his life) and that he's eager to hang out more regularly, but to me our conversations are 50:50. Sometimes I'm really into them and sometimes there's a bit of mismatch. I do like him though and would like to be truly good friends. I just don't know how to manage my life. Lol.

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3 weeks 6 days ago #9587 by mbr
mbr replied the topic: Today
@Arrocee: It is a mix of several factors... 1) I know what can help me catch up (lol)... 2) Sacrifice... time and energy for other things and not ourselves. Irregular meals and such is not helping sugar control... 3) Men dont seem to care as much about their problems (lol)

As for relationship,
It is not easy to sort out what you are looking for in a partner. Looks? Feels? Skills? Background? You really need to figure out what you feel is more important, especially if you are looking for a long term commitment. For casual, some stuff is less important, but then again, it could be a step towards something more.

Some would make a list and determine the absolute lowest acceptability... but scoring is not always reliable...

The two of you don't have to click at all times, that would be rather unrealistic and could set up for huge dissatisfaction once any disagreement happen. They key is to find someone who is willing to communicate and willing to change (even a bit) for each other. Else it would be hard to resolve any conflicts.

I argue with my wife on some matters too, but we always find time to talk it over in a calm manner and try to understand each other's POV.

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1 day 10 hours ago - 1 day 10 hours ago #9595 by Arrocee
Arrocee replied the topic: Today

mbr wrote:
As for relationship,
It is not easy to sort out what you are looking for in a partner. Looks? Feels? Skills? Background? You really need to figure out what you feel is more important, especially if you are looking for a long term commitment. For casual, some stuff is less important, but then again, it could be a step towards something more.

Some would make a list and determine the absolute lowest acceptability... but scoring is not always reliable...

The two of you don't have to click at all times, that would be rather unrealistic and could set up for huge dissatisfaction once any disagreement happen. They key is to find someone who is willing to communicate and willing to change (even a bit) for each other. Else it would be hard to resolve any conflicts.

I argue with my wife on some matters too, but we always find time to talk it over in a calm manner and try to understand each other's POV.


That's mature relationship advice! Thank you mbr. These days I feel like I have to focus on school/job and I feel low on emotional availability, so I'm only mildly open to romantic prospects. One thing is I tend to fall hard and fast for maybe 1 in 10 people I meet in dating (or casual encounters), so for the other 9, I don't really know what to do. If I don't fall hard-and-fast right away, I worry I'll never be as attracted or interested in them as I ought to be. So I tend to cut things off.

Certain things draw me to other people, including:
* emotional gravitas
* a tendency towards introspection
* good looks lol
* an artistic tendency (they show an appreciation for beauty, ideas, and evocative storytelling)
* a down-to-earth attitude

After the above qualities spark my interest, what I need to feel happy in a relationship (which also act as attractive traits):
* this person is emotionally honest, and also otherwise honest
* this person engages with me in conversations involving intellectual curiosity
* this person engages with me in conversations about their inner thoughts and feelings
* this person shows me they are interested in me by exploring my thoughts and my feelings in conversation
* this person is willing to take mutual risks to pursue a future with me, even if there are obstacles in the way
* this person has a direct attitude and is proactive about clearing up questions between us by asking
* this person is physically affectionate and wants to cuddle at night
* this person touches me like getting to touch me is special ;)

That's what I've figured out so far at least :P and obviously the ability to empathize and handle conflicts with emotional maturity is a must. omg on one hand I worry I'm too demanding with all these criteria in mind but on the other hand, I think, aren't a lot of these just the basics of what you should expect from a partner?

Anyway. Arrocee is about ready to settle down to a future with her and herself. Sure it's nice to have a partner, but I may never find a person with the qualities I want who wants me BACK. And I'm aight with being by myself. I think. Sooo... Sure I think I'll have a phase of proactive dating at some point, but I'm not setting my expectations high.

#micdrop (whoa I obviously think too much and like to talk about this stuff)
Last Edit: 1 day 10 hours ago by Arrocee.

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